Empathy as a Communication Technique Essay

The word empathy is a noun and means: Having the ability to imagine oneself in another’s place and understand the other’s feelings, desires, ideas, and actions. The use of empathy was an important part of the psychological counseling technique developed by Carl R. Rogers. (Empathy) Carl Rogers was born January 8, 1902 in Oak Park, Illinois and lived until1987. Carl Rogers is best known for his contributions to therapy. Rogers felt that if a therapist was to be helpful that they must have three defining qualities: The first on should be Congruence, meaning, showing genuineness and honesty with the client. The second is having Empathy, meaning, having the ability to feel what the client feels and the third being Respect, meaning, acceptance, unconditional positive regard towards the client. Rogers says that these qualities are â€Å"necessary and sufficient: If the therapist shows these three qualities, the client will improve, even if no other special â€Å"techniques† are used. If the therapist does not show these three qualities, the client’s improvement will be minimal, no matter how many â€Å"techniques† are used. (Personality Theories). Another Psychologist was Theodor Lipps. Born 1851 in Wallhalben/Palatinate, Germany and died in Munich 1914. Theodor Lipps is known as the father of the first scientific theory of Einfuhlung (â€Å"feeling into,†) Lipps sees the unconscious process of Einfuhlung is a natural instinct. Today, empathy is described as an objective awareness of and insight into the thoughts, feelings, and behavior of another (including their meaning and significance). It has also been discussed in the context of emotional intelligence, which is defined as the awareness and management of emotions in self and others. (p89) By showing empathy you are identifying with the other persons emotions. To be able to empathize with others, you must be able to feel and own your own feelings. It is hard for a person to understand someone else’s feelings if they have never felt or dealt with that certain feeling. When a person has experience a wide range of feelings then they are the ones that have the deeps of understanding what others are experiencing. When a person cannot relate it is more than likely because they have not had the experience of what the other is talking about or going through. Experiencing a feeling is much different than just reading or hearing about the feeling. When you are alking to someone that shares what they are going through with you and you understand what they are talking about, this is a process of recall that comes to your mind and you relive your experience. You are able to use those emotions to guide you in your thoughts and actions with this person. Nature helps us to survive our own traumas and experience of life. If you are able to work through what has happened and you are aware of your own feelings when talking to someone else that is going through the same thing or close to it, then you are able to help that other person to survive and give them hope with what they are going through. Accepting a person where they are in life even if you do not agree with them shows that person that you value and support them as an individual no matter what they are going through or who they are. Many people believe that Empathy and Sympathy are the same but they are not. The difference between the two are â€Å"Sympathy is literally ‘feeling with’ – compassion for or commiseration with another person. Empathy, by contrast, is literally ‘feeling into’ – the ability to project one’s personality into another person and more fully understand that person (think of an â€Å"empath†). Sympathy derives from Latin and Greek words meaning ‘having a fellow feeling’. The term empathy originated in psychology (translation of a German term, c. 1903) and has now come to mean the ability to imagine or project oneself into another person’s position and experience all the sensations involved in that position. † (Answer) A person can learn empathy by CARE. C = Call attention to the insensitive, uncaring behavior. A = Ask, â€Å"How would you feel? † R = Recognize the consequences of the behavior E= Express and explain your disapproval of the insensitive behavior. When a person shows caring then the other person can believe and trust the person showing the empathy. As part of our lives, we find many different people who hold different viewpoints. To deal efficiently with those who have a different opinion to our own, empathy is an important communication technique to develop. Accepting another’s viewpoint, particularly one that is the opposite of yours, takes empathy and listening skills. Empathy is to understand another viewpoint so well, you could feel as if you are walking in their shoes, despite whether you agree with them or not. Although empathy is intangible, its effects can be astonishingly real. A person that is upset is that way because they might think that you have no idea how or what they are feeling or going through. Once you are able to gain their trust by letting them know that you do understand and explain to them how you know or why you know what they are going through then they become obliging and accommodating. When you understand the person’s position and not judging them for their feelings this goes a long way to keep the communication door open. On the other hand, some people can take your empathy for the unconditional support of their viewpoint. Even though you understand someone’s viewpoint, you don’t have to agree with it or like it. That remains your choice. There is a different between men and women when it comes to Empathy. Dr. Shock MD PhD article on Gender Differences in Empathy suggest that women may be more empathic than men, on average this is obviously true. The article states that females use different strategies for assessing emotions than that of men. The studies that have been done show that men use the left cognitive hemisphere in empathy and women the more emotional parts such as the mirror neurons in the right hemisphere. (Gender Differences in Empathy). There are different beliefs and values in different cultures. Much misunderstanding occurs in intercultural interactions because many are unaware of these differences. A person’s culture affects almost all of their communication behaviors. It is important for one to learn the differences of many cultures so that one is able to show empathy in the right way. If one does not know the others culture something you do or say may actually be hurtful, harmful or disrespectful. Once this happens you may lose the trust that had been there and you may never be able to show your full empathy for this other person. A person’s culture determines the way they process information and how to cope with what is going on in their lives. Concepts and objects fluctuate from culture to culture. Each culture and person sees the world they live in differently. Most of these different cultures are particularly concerned with accuracy and have different words for use, depending on whether they are being inclusive or exclusive. American culture is not as concerned with exactness and therefore we use the words we want to use and this can cause misunderstanding in more ways than not. Take for instance that if you are talking to a Native American Indian and you are looking straight into their eyes this is showing disrespect. In the Native American Indian culture if looking into the persons eyes that are talking to shows that you do not respect them. Using self-discloser when showing Empathy can be helpful and it can also be harmful. Self-disclosure is both the conscious and unconscious of revealing more about oneself to others. This may include, but is not limited to, thoughts, feelings, aspirations, goals, failures, successes, fears, dreams as well as one’s likes, dislikes, and favorites. Typically, a self-disclosure happens when we initially meet someone and continues as we build and develop our relationships with people. As we get to know each other, we disclose information about ourselves. If one person is not willing to â€Å"self-disclose† then the other person may stop disclosing information about them as well. (Self-disclosure). The part of if one person is not willing to self-disclose how can the person you are talking to really trust that you know what they are going through. By opening up the other person is able to talk freely. For example, when talking to a person that has just lost their husband they are in shock. A fog is placed over them and they seem not to know what to do next, it just happens. When talking to this person and you has gone through this process, you are able to let this person know that what they are feeling is natural. Nature places a fog around them their protection. You explain that you also lost your husband a few years back and explain to them that it takes about a year to start lifting and in time things to start making since and you can go on in life. It takes a day and sometimes minute at a time to make it through. When you open up to the person that has just lost their husband then they feel that they are not alone and can make that next step. There are sometimes that this can back fire on you when you open up. The person could be so over come with grief that they do not hear what you are saying and get angry with you thinking that you are just saying that they will get over it in time. One must walk softly when self disclosing on any subject. Reference http://webspace.ship.edu/cgboer/rogers.html http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-disclosure